After the mad rush of family gatherings, overeating and forced fun that is (or can be) Christmas Day… Boxing day provides us with a much needed holiday from the holiday season. So here at Mulberry Cottages we give you the ultimate schedule for doing absolutely nothing, which MUST be stuck to:
8.30am– wake up bleary eyed (still not quite rid of the dreaded working sleep pattern) have a momentary panic that you are late for work, possibly get up and make for the shower before realising the date, smiling inside and heading back to bed.
10.30am– wake up with a jolt after surviving Christmas cheese induced psychedelic dreams. Smell the alluring scent of bacon or bubble and squeak which forces you downstairs (the shower has been forgotten about by now and will be forgotten for the whole of the rest of the day). Sit amongst the post Christmas dinner debris and demand food without making any effort to prepare anything yourself, eat then leave the plate for someone else to clear.
11am– argue with any of the rest of the houseguests over who’s new presents to watch/listen to. End up watching a repeat of ‘Only Fools and Horses’ on the TV which everyone has seen before and no one is really happy about.
11.07am– fall asleep
11.30am– wake up to find your parents forcing everyone out of the door to ‘get a bit of air’. Begrudgingly follow on and about half way through realise that it is actually a really good idea to walk, rediscover things about your family that you had forgotten, share laughs and japes until you realise that you’ve been walking in one direction, it’s now dark and mum has left all the remaining food in the house in the oven to burn.
4.30pm– Finally reach home to discover that the food is now inedible and feverishly try every take away restaurant in the local area in the hopes that someone will be open on Boxing Day.
5.30pm– Resign yourself to the rest of the day existing only on festive biscuits, get monopoly out and spend the evening beating every one of your child cousins, proving that you are, beyond any doubt, the master of Christmas.
7pm– watch ‘Home Alone’ with the family and realise that yes, it is being with them that makes Christmas special…
9pm-go to bed. You’ve had a long hard day…